The War
by KatieLeanne17
Summary: Raphael has a fan, a screwdriver and Lysol wipes…Mikey has a toaster, a fork and Raid…Oh how much fun they shall have. A Cute Little Oneshot. Rating just to be safe!


"Raph!" a shrill voice sounded throughout the lair, making everyone cover their ears in protest. The aforementioned red-banded turtle came out of his room, headphones blaring. He gave his brother a murderous glare as Mikey took his headphones out of his ears.

"What?" he questioned, bluntly.

"We have ants!" Mikey stated this like Raphael was supposed to do anything, but Raphael, for all of his greatness, was lazy.

"So? Be a good little boy, name 'em all and then kill 'em." He yanked his headphones back. Mikey wouldn't let him put them in, however.

"We have no Raid!"

"Yeah we do, under the counter."

"You expect _me_ to bend over and strain my back muscles just to kill something?"

"um…sure. While you're down there, get me out the Lysol wipes, I gotta clean my old fan out." As if by magic, Raph pulled out an old, gray and black fan and a screwdriver.

"What's the screwdriver for?" Mikey questioned, glancing at it cautiously.

"My hands are to big to get through the cracks, so I'm gonna use it to push the Lysol wipe through."

"But won't the wetness hurt the engine?"

"They ain't that wet," Raph replied, taking the proffered wipes and watching his brother search for the raid.

A few minutes later, Raph had finished cleaning the fan and plugged it in to see if it would work properly. Mikey had found the Raid, and was busy unclogging the nozzle with a fork. No sooner had Raph turned the fan on, however, did Mikey unclog the raid, sending out a powerful squirt…right into the fan. The Raid came back in full force, filling Raph's lungs and making him choke.

"Mikey!" he screamed, spitting out the foul smell. Mikey just gave him an innocent look.

"Looks like you were right," he quipped, "your fan _does_ still work." He ran quickly out of the room. Raphael debated running after him, but a sudden, vindictive thought came over him. Smiling down at the screwdriver, he knew he'd get in so much trouble with both Sensei and Donnie. He tried to talk himself out of it, knowing the punishment wouldn't be worth it, but he felt compelled by a stronger power and couldn't help himself.

Raphael was lying on the couch a few hours later, having just barely finished his plan. He heard Mikey banging pots and pans around in the kitchen and smirked, knowing what would soon be happening.

"Why is it so hot in here?" he heard Mikey pant. Raphael envisioned his brother putting toast in the toaster.

"Donnie said something or other bout the AC being on the fritz. You can turn my fan on if you need to," Raph hollered from the other room. He could see Mikey turning the fan on at the same time as pulling down the lever to the toaster. He heard a shrill cry and ran out of the room, unable to contain his laughter. He could see in his mind everything; Mikey turning on the fan and having it spit out Raid which had barely been administered so as to still be wet, sparks flying from the toaster as it heated up the fork and screwdriver which had mysteriously ended up in the bottom of said toaster, the raid catching one of the sparks and setting fire. It had all worked out perfectly!

"Raph!" he heard his brother cry. He felt a brief moment of sympathy before the mental image made him laugh out loud.

A few days passed without any mention of the incident. Raphael had been punished by Master Splinter and all thought the incident was forgotten. Until a week later when Raphael and Mikey were home alone. Donnie and Leo had gone scavenging while Splinter had gone to give April the weeks shopping list.

"Hey Raph, can you give me a hand in here?" Mikey called from the kitchen. Raph walked in and had barely taken a step before he fell right on his shell, hard, onto the tiled floor. Mikey laughed like a lunatic and came out from his hiding spot behind the counter. Raph saw every inch of the floor glistening, and an empty vegetable oil bottle on the counter. Realizing what Mikey had done, he lunged, howling like a vicious animal, for his little brother.

Raphael grabbed Mikey, but his little brother had one more trick up his sleeves. Reaching into his shell, Mikey pulled out a can of Pam and started spraying it on his brother and, consequentially, the ground around him. Raphael reached under the counter and grabbed another can, fighting back. Raphael's can had run out, and so he had resorted to throwing handfuls of flour at his brother, while Mikey threw eggs

A half an hour later, the two boys were completely worn out and laying on the ground. They heard the front door creak open and realized they had to clean up. Scurrying, they quickly helped each other to stand and, forgetting about the floor's oil, began cleaning the counter tops that were coated with egg and flour. They heard Master Splinter humming a tune to himself and, realizing their efforts were futile, grabbed each other and ran. They stopped in their tracks as they saw Splinter, his vision obscured by the bags of food he was carrying, head towards the kitchen. All the brothers could do was watch in horror as their sensei stepped onto the tile. As if in slow motion, they saw his feet slide out from under him, the bags go flying, and saw him fall amongst the mess of oil, Pam and eggs.

"MICHAELANGELO! RAPHAEL!" he bellowed. The two brothers looked at each other before running out of the lair and into the sewers.

A/N: Okay, so this actually happened to my brother and me a while back. Like, almost to a tee. However, we also had saran wrap, having used it to try and tie each other up…and milk and orange juice. Our mom was MAD and, looking back on it, it was pretty funny. I always imagined Splinter to be shorter than the turtles which is why I can relate this…I'm 16, my brother's 17 and we are both 5'10'' where my mom is 4'11''. If you want to see something funny, try watching two grown looking kids-as we both look about 20- running from a small mother carrying a broom down the street. Lol. Hope you enjoyed…please R&R, although flames will be ignored until I'm in a bad mood and then laughed at as a pick-me-up.


End file.
